An interesting post on FB that read:
4 stages of a relationship
Mad about each other
Made for each other
Mad at each other
Mad because of each other…
…is the inspiration for me to write this blog…
When I read this out to a dear friend – he asked me what
stage do you think you would fit in? My reply was we oscillate between being
made for each other and being mad at each other!! Although I got a very
diplomatic hmmm in response… my own response led me to a few thoughts..
What is it that drives any relationship? The most common
answer that I could find was Love, unconditional love, mutual respect ,admiration,
trust, faith ..and so on…
I heard about a newly married couple that quarreled to no
end…sometimes resulting in a physical fight, heard stories from my maid about
the drunken brawls and physical abuse from her husband. Did these incidents mean that the love had
ended? Took me a while to understand that a single or even a multiplicity of
incidents may not really make love happen or not, it is just about how very
much you want a person to be a part of your life and share the experience that
matters.
Heard about couples going through a tough phase where the
spouse was cheating, despite the same being love marriages. The emancipated
woman in me woke up at such instances and wanted to “teach” the man a lesson,
anger and hatred tore me up on the inside. It was like a volcano seething with
anger and waiting to erupt at such people.
A journey of self awareness and transformation brought in
some relief from this absolute energy of negativity. The relief came from the
premise that you alone are responsible for what you create in your life, within
you and around you.
Judging a person basis certain actions or acts causes much
stress . This judgment was something
very make believe as I held my head high with my morals and values of integrity
and what not!
Relationships mature with time, elevated expectations play
with the harmony in a relationship. As you grow and transform, you steer
towards being more aware of your feelings and individuality. Some people grow
out into their own space in a relationship and then it is only a matter of
convenience that keeps the couple together. Judging someone for their flaws will make you
an expert in flaw finding and nothing else!!
While every relationship has its pitfalls and low spots,
what I would like to re focus on is the simpler things that we all tend to miss
as the years flow…
For every couple do look at the tiny acts that really matter:)
The look in his eye, when he leaves for work, so what if the
hug n kiss are missing now!
The warmth with which your lunch has been packed and she
waits to see you say bye before you leave
The warmth in the heart when he/she covers you with a
blanket at night, so what if you had a bitter fight and were at a cold war
through the evening
The concern when you travel alone, the ungrudging love with
which he will pick you up from a friends place, when you have spent the whole
day giggling away.
The feeling with which she waits for you to pick her up so
she can share the fun day
The envy with which he will snatch away a book that you are
reading knowing that you do not like it…
In this world the gamut of relationships is made complex by
our own insecurities and expectations . Keeping the context of pure love and
truth becomes tough.
Sanjay Dutt and his Jadu ki Jhappi is actually a wonderful
concept and many of us, me included have not really expressed feelings with a
hug to our dearest people.
What are you waiting for? Go ahead and Give love…
Spend some quality time with a loved one, whoever it may be!
Surprise your spouse with a movie or a dinner
Just take a day off from work and do somethings that you always wanted to do...
after all
when you leave this world, you would want to leave in contentment and be
remembered for all the love you gave….
